I want to wrap up the conversation about quiverfull, because I still don't think some of you understand where I'm coming from, and I got a big "duh" moment this morning when I was thinking about it. This may help explain my take on "it takes three to make a baby in the godly fashion..."
Let's take a look at the famous Psalm 127, but let's look at the whole Psalm, to see what it's really talking about:
Psalm 127
1Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
2It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
5Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Verse one sets the tone for the whole Psalm - "Except the LORD build..." We have people today with big, beautiful houses, but the Lord was not with them in building their homes. Their homes are not blessed. Cities and areas where the LORD is not allowed to reign lose blessings. (Thank God Christ will soon come back and reign.) It is not good to stay up late, and get up early, else you are not taking the sleep and rest that God desires for you. Children are "an heritage of the LORD" if "the LORD build the house." Certainly there are pagan families who have very large families; I've met some. Was the Lord in that? There are also very large Christian families, where the parents are like baby-making factories, yet there is no joy, no rest, and utter turmoil in their family life. Did THEY decide to have child after child after child after child without the Lord's being in it?
Certainly baby-making is not 100% up to God, else what are non-Christians doing having babies, with some of those poor babies being abused? God gave us free will in all aspects in our lives, and that includes procreation. Let's get something straight - there are not these eternal, disembodied spririts floating around hoping that you have a baby so that that spirit can have a life. That's not how it works. NOT having children is NOT a sin! We are not 'preventing a life that could have been' by deciding to not have children.
However when one has children when they hear the still, small voice of the Lord, then when they produce seed after their own kind, they know 'the LORD built the house.' All four of my children are here, because my husband and I both felt that God wanted us to have each child. Every conception was God-led.
With my oldest, I knew it was time to start having children, and I felt strongly the Lord leading me. My husband was scared to have kids - hee hee, typical young man, right? ;-) Well, it was the Lord's will that we have a child, and I knew it and wanted it. Therefore, the Lord caused my body to ovulate THREE times in one month, and I became pregnant. My husband knew it was God's will, and he rejoiced with me.
Our second child came along when we both looked at each other, and said, "Wow, we're supposed to have another child." A month later, we conceived. The next two children were the same way - we knew it was time for us to conceive, and we did.
I am open and ready for as many children as the Lord will give me, and my husband knows that. When/if we get the leading to have another child, we will faithfully obey. We're not interested in having baby after baby, if the Lord is not in it. "Except the LORD build the house..."
Some people have many more children, such as the Duggars. I believe that the Duggars are listening to the Lord, and that with each Duggar child 'the LORD built the house.'
Someone commented on one of my quiverfull posts, and said that she knew the Lord wanted her to have three children. She had her three, and when she and her husband tried to have more, it was miscarriage after miscarriage. I believe this woman and her husband were hearing from the Lord as well. They have three beautiful children.
I'm an only child, and I can guarantee you that all by myself I filled my parents' quiver! :-P
So let's get something straight here. I am not being "selfish" in not having more children, nor am I being "selfish" in already having four children. I truly seek out the Lord's will for that, and so does my husband. We honestly don't know if we are supposed to have more children or not. If we are, we know the Lord will let us know, and we will cheerfully comply.
Sex is NOT purely for procreation. The Bible is clear that it is there to be a beautiful thing between husband and wife. It is the physical union of two becoming one. It is not supposed to be a dirty act. Fornication is a VERY different animal from the Christian marriage bed and marital sex. My husband and I have a very happy, very active, and very blessed marriage bed. The Bible is not shy about the beauty of marital sex - even without procreation having to be part of it:
"My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." -Song of Solomon 5:10-16
"How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins." -Song of Solomon 7:1-3
"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." -Proverbs 5:18-19
Did you know it's a sin to withhold sex from your spouse? You are only to withhold for short times of fasting and prayer, if both are in agreement. Don't believe me? Take a look:
"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." -1 Corinthians 7:3-5
The Bible can be viewed as a very sexual book. Sex is clearly not just for procreation.
To conclude on quiverfull - it is a very personal decision. I don't judge you for how many children you have or don't have.
Also, I understand that there are millions of non-Christians having children, and that is great. Many of those children will grow to be Christians, praise God. I did, and I am eternally grateful.
I think sometimes God speaks to the heart of a mother to have children, even if she thinks she's an atheist.
However, I believe Psalm 127 is talking to the people of God in regards to having children and building their homes. I don't think it is addressing those who walk in darkness, not knowing the light of Christ.
I don't know what drives all couples to have children. I only know what drives my husband and I, and I know that we want the Lord to be in it. We are fallible, sinful creatures, but we still desire the Lord to be in all that we do.
Certainly there will be some people who will decide to "read between the lines," or misconstrue some of what I've said in this post. So be it.
My sisters in Christ who have the love of Christ know my heart, for my heart is like theirs. I carry no judgement and malice towards any of you. God bless you.